So picture this. Your period hasn’t come in a long time. At first, you thought it was just a usual delay, but turns out, it’s not. You’re pregnant. So…you do what every sensible girl does. No, not abortion. Calm down.
Sensible girls call up their boyfriend and tell him.
And then he says these things…
Here are the 12 funniest responses we could find!
1. But how can you be pregnant at this time? I thought I pulled out?
2nd year of University, I missed my period, so I called him and told him and the first thing he said was “But how can you be pregnant at this time”. I didn’t know there was a time table for pregnancy, so I called my best friend and he got me a drug. And the shocking part is, I haven’t seen him since then. – Stacy
2. Ah…How did it happen?
We had both finished SHS when it happened. I told him to come over, when my parents were not home. While we were making love, I told him but he thought I was joking. Afterwards, I said it again, and all he could say is “How did it happen”. I don’t think the Holy Spirit is still in the business of giving babies. I think we both knew exactly how it happened. He wanted me to get an abortion, but I kept it. I didn’t want to be a murderer. – Abena
3. Why are you telling me?
He was my boyfriend’s room-mate, and we used to vibe. One thing led to another, and we ended up having sex one time. My boyfriend thought I was a virgin so we never had sex, but he used to tell his boys-boys that we were having sex so that they wouldn’t laugh at him. So when it happened, I told my boyfriend’s room mate and he asked me why I was telling him. I had to have sex with my boyfriend, so that he would pay for the abortion. We have been together for 3 years, he still doesn’t know. Me and his room mate still have sex though, cos his D is very addictive. – Beverlyn
4. Have you told the father?
I was dating this fraud boy. He used to give me a lot of things, but he also used to fuck me mercilessly. And he never liked using condom. I waited until he finished fucking me without condom, and told him I was pregnant. He asked me if I have told the father, because it can’t be him. Some men are so heartless. I had to pay the abortion fee all by myself. – Kuukua
5. Well we can either abort it, or you can be a single mother.
It’s a very funny story. He took me to a guest house and ate me like it was last supper. The next day, he said I should go and buy Postinor, but I forgot. Later I found out I was pregnant, he asked me why I didn’t take the medicine and I said I forgot. He said, okay. And he ate me again for the whole day. When he got home, he sent me a text that if I won’t abort it, then I should start preparing for life as a single mother. Then he blocked me on all the social media platforms. I haven’t seen him since then. – Cynthia
6. OMG, I’m so happy for you, who is the father
Me and my ex agreed that we were going to have sex with other people, but I know he never did it. One day, two of his friends came to ask me if it was true that we had agreed to do such a thing, and I said yes. I ended up having sex with them. When I got pregnant, I told them. They just started laughing and one of them asked if I had told the father (my boyfriend). But it was a good idea, because he helped me abort it. I didn’t have sex with them without a condom again though. – Eugenia
7. Who else knows about it?
If you date a church boy, this is the response you will get if you get pregnant for him. It is the official, “We are definitely aborting it” response. Cos if you say, “No one else”, “we are definitely aborting it”. Church boys are the worst. They are hypocrites. Like, I tell you I’m pregnant, and all you think about is your reputation. – Nina
8. I can’t tell you to keep it or abort it but do you want to be a mother?
My friends don’t agree but I think this was a sweet thing to ask. He actually cared what I thought. And it turned out that I did want to be a mother. And my parents didn’t kick up too much of a fuss about it. My parents are now sponsoring his education, so that he becomes a responsible father. Some guys will force you to take it out, but he was cool – Emelia
9. Do you want to mess up your life?
Nigerian men are trash. He was my best friend, and then we became fuck-buddies, because that’s just what you do when you’re in university. One day, I just wanted to test him so I told him I was pregnant. He got angry like I went to market to go and buy the pregnancy. By force, I have to abort it. I really thought I knew him. I said I wouldn’t do it, just to see what he would do. He went to the bathroom and washed his hands, and told me he is out. And that I should think seriously about if I want to mess up my life. – Yaa
10. Ah…but we had sex just once.
Well to be honest, I wasn’t even mad. He was a virgin, but he was rich so…it was cool. He paid for that abortion three times. – Grace
11. You’ll give birth and we’ll see. After all…
I have never been so hurt in my life. He was the one who was cheating the whole time. But when I got pregnant, it was me that couldn’t be trusted. I wanted to have the baby just to prove to him, but like my mother will just kill me so I had to swallow my pride. I broke up with him after that, and he didn’t understand. He’s even a Twitter cool kid, but I won’t mention his name. – Sandra
12. Are you having a boy or an abortion
But in his defence, he thought I was joking until I had to go and test myself in a lab. He didn’t want me to abort it, so we have a boy together. We broke up but he’s a good father to little Nazif Jr. Sometimes, I wonder if he was serious though, because you know how these Muslims are sometimes. – Esinu