I love catfish. A lot. Every opportunity I get, best believe I’m getting me some catfish, fish breath or nah.
Now, on this rather peculiar day, my mother brought home two live catfishes. We all were very skirmish because animals generally are weird but catfishes are just slimy and, you know, murderous. Call me dramatic all you want, but I know what I know.
Two live catfishes in a big bowl of water and nowhere to put it in. Kitchen? No, people actually eat there. Can’t have fishes giving you the death stare while you cook other fishes. So that was ruled off. Store? Nope, too dark and musty. They might die. In the end, it was our collective bright idea to put it in our bathroom. Yes, the one in our bedroom. Nice.
So at night time, we were all ready to sleep, feeling very aquatic what with the splashing around of fish in our bathroom. Nice soundtrack for a good night rest. Or is it?
Splat! Went the loud, oddly haunting sound of flesh on tiles. My sister and I shared a look. “It can’t possibly be the fish, can it?”, it said. We both sat up in our beds, two adult women ripe for marriage who were frightened by a catfish.
Splat! Splat! Splat! And just then we saw a catfish wiggle through the small opening underneath the bathroom door into our bedroom. Our screams went through the roof and the fish persistently wiggled towards my sister’s bed bringing with it, its slimy body fluid and marine spirit. In all my life, I’d never seen a more equally frightening and utterly disgusting sight. Our live-in relative came in and grabbed (not without struggle) the fish and threw it back in the water.
Afterwards, let’s just say the fish found a new hobby – jumping out of the water and wiggling into our room. With every loud splattering on tiles, about four times that night, I swore I was never going to eat catfish again in my life.
The next morning, however, my mom made a nice steaming plate of catfish pepper-soup and it hit me; live fishes might be slimy and murderous but in a steaming pot of peppery stew, fishes are just nice and friendly and delicious.